Hi there. My son is only three. I waited for many years and we have been absolutely blessed.
Before he even reaches 7 I hope I will have enough reasons to help him chose abstinence over the condom. Nothing is 100% safe - nothing. This father waited too long and I’m surprised a parent would sound so care free about using them.
I might live on cloud 9, but I’m not willing as a parent to offer the condom alternative - ever.
Maybe my writing will help - even if it just helped 1 teen to mouth the word No just once and become engaged in something other than a 15 min. jaunt that could change their enitre ignorant (in a nice way) futures.
3. Pregnancy does not mean parenthood. I’d rather kids wrap it up to begin with than find themselves at a clinic.
I really found your website offensive. It is condescending and idealistic and further spreads a harmful message to teens. Sex is not “bad” nor does it lead to a lifetime of suffering.
If you want to promote the idea of abstinence, you may want to reconsider equating condoms with lollipops. Have you ever tasted a condom? They’re terrible.
At first I thought you were actually talking about not having sex… and I was going to cry, because it would’ve reminded me of a terrible time in summer-school health class with the boy with the foot fetish and the girl who sniffed markers. *shudder*
But instead I laughed. :]
I think I was too hasty with Debs. The site iself is okay, I guess, but I was quite put off by the tone of the link regarding choosing to have SAFE sex.
I encourage saying “no” as well, but not because it will ruin your life. I don’t think Deb needs to be offering her seven year old a condom, but to not even consider it an option for the future is quite dangerous for that child.
Nikol, I don’t think you were too hasty with “Debs.”
First, any 15 minute period can change any life. I could have an aneurysm, I could be hit by a car, or I could eat the hormone-laden egg that seals my fate in the form of a rare cancer that will emerge 15 years from now. If someone has kids intentionally, they had to believe the human exprience was worth having. For the vast majority of people, fully living life involves multiple sex partners.
“Debs” is pretending that keeping information from a person helps them make good decisions. That’s stupid BS. It’s too bad she procreated before someone told her that kids don’t do what you tell them to do, but they can be hurt by decisions to keep them in the dark. What do you want to bet she’ll be hurling condoms at him if he’s gay?
Sex is an incredibly strong biological urge that promises a delightful reward for the senses. At the most basic level, people aren’t writers, mall employees, or politicians… we’re animals who want sex and love sex, and happen to have a sophisticated culture that permits silly people to ignore that.
That include’s “Debs’s” precious fleshloaf. I feel sorry for her kid, but I know I don’t have to hope she’ll eventually see the fundamental bankruptcy of her perspective on sexuality. It’s inevitable.
Incidentally, HPV can live underneath fingernails and one can get HPV in the darndest ways, and phthalates still stalk the uneducated toy consumer. Not even abstinance is safe if you really want to split pubic hairs…
Remember: Condoms don’t kill people. People hurling condoms at people kill people. Okay, sorry, I just really like the concept of hurling condoms. New Olympic sport, anyone?
And as for “fleshloaf”, I’m not even going to comment. I’m just going to quietly steal it and make it mine.
That site was creepy.
*shudder*
At least it’s not like porn, in the sense that it doesn’t keep popping up at me when I try to close out. But in some other ways, I wish it were a little more like porn.
This was the first clip of yours I saw, and prompted me to backtrack and watch all your episodes. And what do you know - this was even funnier on the second watching (’Brandon died in a freak chainsaw accident’… *guffaws*)!
I am an adult (not a teen), I have 2 sons ages 9 and 12. I am already HAVING the condom talk with the older one, along with a variety of other topics such as sexual identities, love and relationships and financial responsibilities.
I think deciding when a child is 3 years old, that you will NEVER even suggest a condom is a short trip to ensuring that you will be a grandmother by the time the kid s 16.
You would be much better off teaching your children that people are people, that sex is something to be taken seriously, that love is an emotion that is greatly valued in this society. THEN teach them how to react to all of those things appropriately.
Show them how to handle adversity by not being a bigot. Teach them how to handle the physical urges safely, tell them about safer sex practices if the feel the NEED to have sex (and they WILL feel the need to have sex at some point). Then teach them that love given is love growing. That it is ok to feel love for anyone you care about but that not everyone will love you in return. Teach them how to see love, not just believe it when some random partner says “I love you…do me”.
You need to teach kids as a whole individual, not just as someone you don’t want to see having sex.
Debs, the first time I had sex, I was NOT thinking about my parents. Nor was I thinking about anything they had ever told me.
Facts are facts. The age in which the average american youth loses thier virginity is far younger than 18. I read an article recently (if I can find it again, I’ll cite it…) and this article surveyed adolescents who had just entered high school. It found that 38% of those kids admitted to some form of sexual activity with another person BEFORE ENTERING HIGH SCHOOL!
38% is a big number when talking about the percentage of sexually active 15 year olds.
Let’s not be naive anymore Debs. Kids are doin’ it. Get over it. Be ready for it. And I truly do find your website offensive. All that god and christianity business. Give me a break! These are godless times darlin’. The days of getting people on your side by preaching the wrath of the lord are numbered!
Chris’ comment made me go back to that site - and I was right, it actually says TWENTY minutes, so you’ve been selling your wife another five short, but that’s not what I wanted to say here.
In that article was a link called “sexual gratification”, so, always up for some of that, I clicked it. Guess what kind of message I received:
“Sorry, but you are looking for something that isn’t here.”
The problem with youthful promiscuity is that it forces marital sex - with all the responsibilities of adulthood -to compete with carefree, nonmarital sex. Instead of marital sex being “WOWWWWW!” it’s “feh, I’ve had better.”
It also expands men’s exposure to female bodies, and raises the bar of what it takes for a woman to be attractive to a man. A woman who was considered pretty 50 years ago can’t get a second look from a man today. Men can have sex with whoever they want to, so the hot women monopolize all the men and less attractive women like myself are left with nothing.
Ahem, anyway…
Here’s the deal, Debs: your kid or grandkid or whatever your fleshloaf was (I’m stealing Matt’s idea about stealing that term) is either as good as dead or likely to become a father at 17.
So, you know, good job there. I’m sure your grandkid will be proud of you.
“It also expands men’s exposure to female bodies, and raises the bar of what it takes for a woman to be attractive to a man. A woman who was considered pretty 50 years ago can’t get a second look from a man today. Men can have sex with whoever they want to, so the hot women monopolize all the men and less attractive women like myself are left with nothing.”
How dare men be attracted to people who are attractive! Oh, those cruel bastards!
And, honey, it’s certain that what you say is not true. “All of the attractive women”: I’m guessing, what, 25%, given your implication that there are lots of less attractive women left high and dry? So… 25% of the women are totally all over 100% of the men? That, um… is obviously not true.
Also, your reasoning is specious. I mean, not to knock on fat people (I used to be fat until I did something about it, so it’s okay for me to be a bit of a dick here), but I see like these 300 pound women walking around Wal-Mart all the time with wedding rings and six spoiled kids.
Also, you contradict yourself: you say men want sex, sex, sex, but only with hot, hot, women. So… they have to wait until one of the 25% is available? And until then they just don’t want sex? Sounds to me like we’re not as sex-crazed as you think… See, you can’t have it both ways and still have any semblance of a reasonable argument.
(hehe… the verification words are “polished it”. I’m so immature)
Naomi Wolf has these insights on sexuality from her essay “The Porn Myth”:
***I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend who had become an Orthodox Jew in Jerusalem. When I saw her again, she had abandoned her jeans and T-shirts for long skirts and a head scarf. I could not get over it. Ilana has waist-length, wild and curly golden-blonde hair. “Can’t I even see your hair?” I asked, trying to find my old friend in there. “No,” she demurred quietly. “Only my husband,” she said with a calm sexual confidence, “ever gets to see my hair.”
When she showed me her little house in a settlement on a hill, and I saw the bedroom, draped in Middle Eastern embroideries, that she shares only with her husband—the kids are not allowed—the sexual intensity in the air was archaic, overwhelming. It was private. It was a feeling of erotic intensity deeper than any I have ever picked up between secular couples in the liberated West. And I thought: Our husbands see naked women all day—in Times Square if not on the Net. Her husband never even sees another woman’s hair. She must feel, I thought, so hot.***
Wait until your son is a teenager with (and there’s a real reason they call them) RAGING hormones before you decide to deny all alternatives.
You may wish he makes certain choices, but if he doesn’t where is he? Either you get the giant economy boxes of condoms from CostCo or you’re raising your grandchildren. Or taking him to the doctor for test results and treatment. Or you lock him in his room until he’s 20.
I have the solution for teens and parents: sexual activity = emancipated minor. Teen has autonomy, parent is free of responsibility, financial or otherwise. Adult priviledges and responsibilities have been conferred at puberty throughout human history; it’s only in the past century that society has created the odd adult-child hybrid of the teenager.
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I’ve never wanted abstinence so bad. Thanks MTSS!
Thanks midwest teensex show, thanks to you my school’s sex ed is not borring, keep up the good work,
Sincerly,
David
David,
Are they showing you MTSS in school?
i recomened MTSS to my Sex-Ed teacher, I don’t now what she thought, but she seems like someone who wold like it.
I’m holding out for a brand called Moot Point. Then, in my will, I could pay someone to scatter a few on my grave once a year. Wow, I sure am weird.
Hi there. My son is only three. I waited for many years and we have been absolutely blessed.
Before he even reaches 7 I hope I will have enough reasons to help him chose abstinence over the condom. Nothing is 100% safe - nothing. This father waited too long and I’m surprised a parent would sound so care free about using them.
I might live on cloud 9, but I’m not willing as a parent to offer the condom alternative - ever.
Maybe my writing will help - even if it just helped 1 teen to mouth the word No just once and become engaged in something other than a 15 min. jaunt that could change their enitre ignorant (in a nice way) futures.
distractehttp://lovejots.com/2007/12/03/sex-is-just-sex-dummy/
thanks
Debs
Chief Editor/Owner
LoveJots.com
something went askew with that url
http://lovejots.com/2007/12/03/sex-is-just-sex-dummy/
thanks once again
Debs
Debs,
1. That “father” is actually an actor.
2. Condoms are effective at preventing pregnancy.
3. Pregnancy does not mean parenthood. I’d rather kids wrap it up to begin with than find themselves at a clinic.
I really found your website offensive. It is condescending and idealistic and further spreads a harmful message to teens. Sex is not “bad” nor does it lead to a lifetime of suffering.
If you want to promote the idea of abstinence, you may want to reconsider equating condoms with lollipops. Have you ever tasted a condom? They’re terrible.
At first I thought you were actually talking about not having sex… and I was going to cry, because it would’ve reminded me of a terrible time in summer-school health class with the boy with the foot fetish and the girl who sniffed markers. *shudder*
But instead I laughed. :]
I think I was too hasty with Debs. The site iself is okay, I guess, but I was quite put off by the tone of the link regarding choosing to have SAFE sex.
I encourage saying “no” as well, but not because it will ruin your life. I don’t think Deb needs to be offering her seven year old a condom, but to not even consider it an option for the future is quite dangerous for that child.
Nikol, I don’t think you were too hasty with “Debs.”
First, any 15 minute period can change any life. I could have an aneurysm, I could be hit by a car, or I could eat the hormone-laden egg that seals my fate in the form of a rare cancer that will emerge 15 years from now. If someone has kids intentionally, they had to believe the human exprience was worth having. For the vast majority of people, fully living life involves multiple sex partners.
“Debs” is pretending that keeping information from a person helps them make good decisions. That’s stupid BS. It’s too bad she procreated before someone told her that kids don’t do what you tell them to do, but they can be hurt by decisions to keep them in the dark. What do you want to bet she’ll be hurling condoms at him if he’s gay?
Sex is an incredibly strong biological urge that promises a delightful reward for the senses. At the most basic level, people aren’t writers, mall employees, or politicians… we’re animals who want sex and love sex, and happen to have a sophisticated culture that permits silly people to ignore that.
That include’s “Debs’s” precious fleshloaf. I feel sorry for her kid, but I know I don’t have to hope she’ll eventually see the fundamental bankruptcy of her perspective on sexuality. It’s inevitable.
Incidentally, HPV can live underneath fingernails and one can get HPV in the darndest ways, and phthalates still stalk the uneducated toy consumer. Not even abstinance is safe if you really want to split pubic hairs…
LURVE the MTSS!
L
Remember: Condoms don’t kill people. People hurling condoms at people kill people. Okay, sorry, I just really like the concept of hurling condoms. New Olympic sport, anyone?
And as for “fleshloaf”, I’m not even going to comment. I’m just going to quietly steal it and make it mine.
From Debs site:
“You chose to live on a land with freedom yes, but governed by our God, Christ”
nuff said
Far out. I guess religious tolerance means you can be any type of Christian you want. Wait’ll I tell my Jewish friends. I bet their faces will be RED!
That site was creepy.
*shudder*
At least it’s not like porn, in the sense that it doesn’t keep popping up at me when I try to close out. But in some other ways, I wish it were a little more like porn.
Too many ads, not enough funny. The MWTSS is starting to become too commercial.
@Will.aim: AHAHAHAHAHAhahahha thanks for that
This was the first clip of yours I saw, and prompted me to backtrack and watch all your episodes. And what do you know - this was even funnier on the second watching (’Brandon died in a freak chainsaw accident’… *guffaws*)!
Great stuff, and you\’ve got yourself a new fan
xx Dee
About Debs…
I am an adult (not a teen), I have 2 sons ages 9 and 12. I am already HAVING the condom talk with the older one, along with a variety of other topics such as sexual identities, love and relationships and financial responsibilities.
I think deciding when a child is 3 years old, that you will NEVER even suggest a condom is a short trip to ensuring that you will be a grandmother by the time the kid s 16.
You would be much better off teaching your children that people are people, that sex is something to be taken seriously, that love is an emotion that is greatly valued in this society. THEN teach them how to react to all of those things appropriately.
Show them how to handle adversity by not being a bigot. Teach them how to handle the physical urges safely, tell them about safer sex practices if the feel the NEED to have sex (and they WILL feel the need to have sex at some point). Then teach them that love given is love growing. That it is ok to feel love for anyone you care about but that not everyone will love you in return. Teach them how to see love, not just believe it when some random partner says “I love you…do me”.
You need to teach kids as a whole individual, not just as someone you don’t want to see having sex.
Debs, the first time I had sex, I was NOT thinking about my parents. Nor was I thinking about anything they had ever told me.
Facts are facts. The age in which the average american youth loses thier virginity is far younger than 18. I read an article recently (if I can find it again, I’ll cite it…) and this article surveyed adolescents who had just entered high school. It found that 38% of those kids admitted to some form of sexual activity with another person BEFORE ENTERING HIGH SCHOOL!
38% is a big number when talking about the percentage of sexually active 15 year olds.
Let’s not be naive anymore Debs. Kids are doin’ it. Get over it. Be ready for it. And I truly do find your website offensive. All that god and christianity business. Give me a break! These are godless times darlin’. The days of getting people on your side by preaching the wrath of the lord are numbered!
So, Debs points out that Sex is supposed to last 15 minutes…..don’t tell my wife, she will be upset and will request the other 13!!!
Chris’ comment made me go back to that site - and I was right, it actually says TWENTY minutes, so you’ve been selling your wife another five short, but that’s not what I wanted to say here.
In that article was a link called “sexual gratification”, so, always up for some of that, I clicked it. Guess what kind of message I received:
“Sorry, but you are looking for something that isn’t here.”
Now I feel sorry for Debs…
The problem with youthful promiscuity is that it forces marital sex - with all the responsibilities of adulthood -to compete with carefree, nonmarital sex. Instead of marital sex being “WOWWWWW!” it’s “feh, I’ve had better.”
It also expands men’s exposure to female bodies, and raises the bar of what it takes for a woman to be attractive to a man. A woman who was considered pretty 50 years ago can’t get a second look from a man today. Men can have sex with whoever they want to, so the hot women monopolize all the men and less attractive women like myself are left with nothing.
Oh, God, not Debs again…
Ahem, anyway…
Here’s the deal, Debs: your kid or grandkid or whatever your fleshloaf was (I’m stealing Matt’s idea about stealing that term) is either as good as dead or likely to become a father at 17.
So, you know, good job there. I’m sure your grandkid will be proud of you.
“It also expands men’s exposure to female bodies, and raises the bar of what it takes for a woman to be attractive to a man. A woman who was considered pretty 50 years ago can’t get a second look from a man today. Men can have sex with whoever they want to, so the hot women monopolize all the men and less attractive women like myself are left with nothing.”
How dare men be attracted to people who are attractive! Oh, those cruel bastards!
And, honey, it’s certain that what you say is not true. “All of the attractive women”: I’m guessing, what, 25%, given your implication that there are lots of less attractive women left high and dry? So… 25% of the women are totally all over 100% of the men? That, um… is obviously not true.
Also, your reasoning is specious. I mean, not to knock on fat people (I used to be fat until I did something about it, so it’s okay for me to be a bit of a dick here), but I see like these 300 pound women walking around Wal-Mart all the time with wedding rings and six spoiled kids.
Also, you contradict yourself: you say men want sex, sex, sex, but only with hot, hot, women. So… they have to wait until one of the 25% is available? And until then they just don’t want sex? Sounds to me like we’re not as sex-crazed as you think… See, you can’t have it both ways and still have any semblance of a reasonable argument.
(hehe… the verification words are “polished it”. I’m so immature)
Sorry to not add to the debate but i just wanted to say that the idea of the Abstinence-branded condom is fantastic.
It makes me want to bring trucks and give them away in front of high schools on the day they are taught about abstinence only.
Such a fantastic idea, if only we could have a massive ad campaign about those condoms, the abstinence word would loose all its meaning.
Nimby,
Naomi Wolf has these insights on sexuality from her essay “The Porn Myth”:
***I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend who had become an Orthodox Jew in Jerusalem. When I saw her again, she had abandoned her jeans and T-shirts for long skirts and a head scarf. I could not get over it. Ilana has waist-length, wild and curly golden-blonde hair. “Can’t I even see your hair?” I asked, trying to find my old friend in there. “No,” she demurred quietly. “Only my husband,” she said with a calm sexual confidence, “ever gets to see my hair.”
When she showed me her little house in a settlement on a hill, and I saw the bedroom, draped in Middle Eastern embroideries, that she shares only with her husband—the kids are not allowed—the sexual intensity in the air was archaic, overwhelming. It was private. It was a feeling of erotic intensity deeper than any I have ever picked up between secular couples in the liberated West. And I thought: Our husbands see naked women all day—in Times Square if not on the Net. Her husband never even sees another woman’s hair. She must feel, I thought, so hot.***
From One Debbie to another:
Wait until your son is a teenager with (and there’s a real reason they call them) RAGING hormones before you decide to deny all alternatives.
You may wish he makes certain choices, but if he doesn’t where is he? Either you get the giant economy boxes of condoms from CostCo or you’re raising your grandchildren. Or taking him to the doctor for test results and treatment. Or you lock him in his room until he’s 20.
Debbie
I have the solution for teens and parents: sexual activity = emancipated minor. Teen has autonomy, parent is free of responsibility, financial or otherwise. Adult priviledges and responsibilities have been conferred at puberty throughout human history; it’s only in the past century that society has created the odd adult-child hybrid of the teenager.