Does your school offer sex education? What sort of topics are they covering? Are you learning?
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Does your school offer sex education? What sort of topics are they covering? Are you learning?
when I was going to school the teachers often knew little to nothing about contraception. Once I was even told that withdrawl is more effective than condoms for STDs and pregnancy.
Because it’s a subject that needs to be taught maybe once a year, it would be alot better if the education departments funding people on a state level to go on tours teaching the subject, people who don’t regard HIV as a one-strain virus, teenage sex as some reckless cry for help and as a self destructive act.
To ask people who arn’t versed in a subject to teach it is asking for trouble.
It’s been a while, but I have done some thinking on what they SHOULD teach at school. Here are my suggestions:
a.) Sex is good. It’s fun and normal. Everybody does it. It can be a wonderfull part of your relationship, and a great laugh too. Sex is the number one reason women and men spend so much time with each other. (Maybe there could be a bit about how sex really is and how it is not what people/media/parents/priests want you to believe, but that might be a bit of a stretch. I’m german.)
..and as the 2nd part (and this is important, not as the first part):
b.) Sex can be dangerous. It can lead to kids, which can make one hell of an impact on your life, so protect yourself. Sex can also lead to deep emotions, like love, greed, devotion, trust, and the other person involved might end up loving you. So protect your partner and protect yourself. Sex, love and a relationship are loosely related but not the same. Oh, and you can get a disease by having sex, so protect yourself.
And in the process of teaching there could be bits about the basical funcionality of the involved organs, emotions (love, lust, fear, shame), relationship models (the sexfriend, the marriage, the one night stand).
One thing I loved about a class I took was the question box. It was just a shoe box with a slit cut out of the top that students could anonymously drop questions into. The teacher would read the questions and then answer, no matter how absurd. Some of the reasons teens don’t talk about sex is because they’re embarrassed or they don’t think their concerns will be taken seriously, some don’t have anyone to talk to at all.
A lot of people think if they don’t talk about sex it won’t happen; it still does. Wouldn’t they prefer teens be educated about the good and the bad (and the ugly) and trust that they’ll make the right decision when they’re ready?
I’m from the South, and I must admit that I didn’t learn much about contraception, etc.
We didn’t learn squat about condoms, birth control, or any of that.
The only things that were drilled into our heads were:
1) Sex will leave you pregnant, which means you’ll have to drop out of school and work a minimum-wage job for the rest of your life.
2)Sex will give you an STD, or AIDS.
3)It’s not a good idea to have sex. At all. Just don’t.
The rest was sort of unexplained and left to the imagination. There was nothing said about masturbation, or anything about sexuality or coming out. I doubt any of the information was even about couples other than heterosexuals.
And it was implied that we’d be abstinent and never have sex until we got married, somewhere in the future. No help whatsoever to kids who had already had sex, or were thinking about it.
There was no information about the sexually charged feeling you get when you’re a teenager. The only thing I heard about that was wet dreams (implied that guys were the only ones to get them!) and for a few seconds, that a man should ignore it if they have an annoying tent in their pants.
I heard very little about women and sexual issues. It seemed like most of that was for men only!
We were left clueless about a lot. It was just don’t-ask, don’t-tell.
What the hell are our schools hiding information for?Is it supposed to be a secret? What, we’re just supposed to learn this after the fact?I’m only starting to learn information I never knew about sex and relationships, because I’m just that curious to look it up.
i’m 14 and am fresh into high school. the sex ed we had wasn’t so bad. they showed us how to putt on a condom, using two fingers for a model, and what kind of STDs were out there. and they told us that we were not ready for sex any time soon.
I’m in grade 10 in Canada, there has been no education for me since grade 6! In grade 7 our teacher made it optional! We did get at least from grade 2-6 of sex education :/
The most important thing we learned at my (belgian) shool is birth control, and disease prevention.
There was nothing whatsoever to change our opinions, we were just taught facts. There was nothing about when you should have sex, with who, or why not. Thinking about it makes me realize that it was not about “us and sex”, it was about “sex”.
I know this now because I remember having to make tests on which contraceptive works best, and which is most efficient in stopping disease, and which is the most efficient in stopping pregnancy, but never was I told what I should do, or what I shouldnt do. (except for one thing, I was told that pulling out was the stupidest thing I could do)
When it came to how to use condoms, and how to have sex, we didnt get a banana, nor a dildo, as an example.
We got an educational video with real people, a real penis, a real vagina, and real sex. The people (in the tape) werent shy, everything visible, and they did it very profesionally. (no moaning, no “You like that, bitch?” just plain old boring, nothing special sex)
Some kids went home and told their parents they saw “porn”, and because of that my teacher had to show them the film to confirm it wasnt porn, but an educational film, and that was the end it.
Sex ed was a part of biology, and my class got it when we were 12.
It was just a couple of months, for about 3 hours per week.
It was as compulsory as normal biology, and there was no big fuss about it. My teacher was great though, and he didnt mind being funny about it while he was at it.
In europe there is not that much debate about sex ed.
We live in the UK, and we get a full all-round sexual education. We are taught the facts about the mechanics sex, all STD’s and all forms of contraception and are told to have sex when we are ready, whenever that may be, but that no one has the right to judge our choices and we must be proud of ourselves. Also, abstinence is presented to us and explained only as an option - it isn’t forced upon us as a necessity, but show to be a healthy choice that works for some people.
That said, we are lucky to go to a really good school and a lot of state schools in the UK receive really rubbish sex ed, hence crap pregnancy rates. We had an external speaker come in to speak to us over many weeks, which was good, because if it was a teacher we knew they might’ve been really embarrassed!
Sex Ed was also split between Biology lessons, Religious Education and PSE (Citizenship, society etc.), which meant we could differentiate between what’s fact, what a certain ethnic group thinks, and help with self-esteem etc. Some schools in our district provide free condoms
We personally believe it’s better for children to be presented with the unbiased facts and be allowed to make their own informed decision.
I didn’t have that much sex-ed in school (mainly because I kept switching schools and countries so I ended up always missing it), but what really stuck with me was a video they showed us when we were about 10 (in Germany) - a video of what goes on *inside* the bodies when you have sex. Basically, miniature cameras inserted into the couple’s penis/vagina (I’ve never quite understood why anyone would consent to that). It was very weird/fascinating/out of context because a) we were a bit too young for that much detail (I think) and somehow not much other information was provided apart from what goes on physically. I don’t remember anyone ever telling us of the emotional/psychlogical stuff that comes with sex. I think most of my sex education I got from my parents and books (provided by my parents). And Bravo magazine - I think every German teen for the last 30 years or so has gotten most of their sex information from that magazine.
Umm, my Sex Ed. class was for half a term my 8th grade year…The teacher was very upfront about the different functions of the male and female reproductive system. She showed a number of forms of birth control, and and showed us condoms, except she only put it in her own fingers to demonstrate, we didn’t get practice putting them on bananas or our own fingers. We talked about the risks of stds (and she showed us pics that made me skip lunch several times during class) except she really didn’t explain all the ways you can contract them, as I was led to believe that you couldn’t contract std’s giving oral sex…that ignorance almost got me in trouble in college, as I was having unprotected oral sex and wasn’t very aware of the fact that some STDs are asymptomatic, meaning they show no symptoms, such as chlamydia and HPV. That was scary not being aware of possible disease inside my body which could cause irreparable damage to myself and my sexual partners. I thought I was being careful in not going all the way with guys, but I was wrong. I was terrified that I might be carrying an std and not be able to have children someday because of it. So I took responsibility for my actions. I went to the gynecologist at the age of 20 and had a full exam, pap, and std test, and the results came back negative. It was such a relief to know that I was not infected with anything, and I received free valuable information on how to practice safe sex. A year later I met the love of my life, and I gave my virginity to him. (okay I know some would say I’m not a virgin for having oral, but I disagree, for me full vaginal penetration for the first time counts as losing my virginity) The sex is great, and an important part of our relationship, but that’s not the sole part. Teachers should teach about all the options birth control options show actual models to understand how they work and not just pamphlets or posters, be frank about the diseases, how they affect the body, emotions, how to practice safe oral, anal, and vaginal sex, and how sex is something that is awkward at first but when practiced more, it can be a wonderful part of a person’s life, and that you should only have sex when you’re physically and emotionally ready.
I had sex ed classes in middle and high school in Arizona, which means abstinence only. Although, I have heard our governor, the great Janet Napolitano, recently rejected federal sex ed funding, which requires an abstinence only curriculum. So maybe things are changing. Anyways, my mother is a middle school teacher and she has told me that teachers, administrators, even school nurses can be fired for not toeing the abstinence only line. So students get almost no useful information. It’s mostly things like, “If you have sex you will get pregnant and AIDS and die.” So, no big surprise that Arizona has the 2nd highest teen pregnancy rate(104 per 1000, behind Nevada).
Don’t worry about me, I got very comprehensive sex ed through my parent’s church.
I’m in 8th grade (I know, no where NEAR ready for sex at all), and we’re just learning basics.. except the part that really ticks me off is that they keep drilling into our heads to wait until marriage to have sex. I respect that as a choice for some, but I certainly don’t think it’s realistic, and it’s a personal choice, so it makes alot of us mad that they’re teaching a personal belief at school as a class.. but oh well. We’ll all end up doing what we do anyways.
Also, I thought it was dumb that they censored all the STD pictures. It’s not like we don’t know what penises and vaginas look like! Come on, we aren’t elementary kids here. We really need to know that by now anyways. We can’t really be expected to appreciate the full disgustingness (made up word! Aha!) of the diseases without the full picture, eh?
Well there’s all that.
My school teaches abstinence only. it really bums me out because now the really rebellious kids will have sex just to prove to teachers that it doesn’t kill you. I myself am abstinent but I know a number of people who aren’t. I hate that teachers don’t think we’ll understand how big of a step sex is. I very well may not know every single thing and consequence that can happen as a result of sex. I still feel insulted that teachers don’t think we can handle it. As long as your parents agree and you don’t get queasy or faint while you’re in there, I don’t think anyone should miss learning about contraception and options for teen parents. Guys need to know they have no say in what the girl does with the baby and they are entitled to help financially. Girls need to know how much you miss out on being a teen parent. I’m not a teen parent, but I have a friend who basically raises her baby brother. I think more comprehensive sex education should be available. When kids know that parents can support sexual endeavors they may rebel and remain abstinent. But don’t listen to me, I’m just a teenager who shouldn’t be involved in sex according to the state of Florida. The truth is I know about sex, now the least they can do is tell me how to make healthy choices without telling me sex isn’t an option.
As a peer sexual health educator since I was 13 (I’m now 31), I continue to be astonished at the difference in experience between those who got sex health education from qualified and comfortable teachers and from those who, like me, had it taught by gym teachers who were entirely uncomfortable with the subject. I grew up in a school system (in Ontario, Canada) that, like now, required only the bare minimum of instruction, and it was all doom, disease and disaster (sexual violence, STDs and pregnancy). It was only supplemental reading and educating myself through other sources (if only Midwest Teen Sex Show had existed in my day!) that helped my friends and I develop more informed perspectives on sexuality.
I currently teach using a program called OWL (Our Whole Lives) that was created by the Unitarian Universalists and the United Church of Christ. It’s actually not a faith-based curriculum unless you’re using the supplementary materials, so its pretty applicable for anyone. It’s got programs for kindergarten age (safe touching, public/private, and conception stories - which is way more fun when there isn’t a traditional hetero nuclear-family in the bunch), grades 4-6 (puberty and body changes/body image, relationships, etc.), junior high (this is the big one - about 48 hours of classroom instruction covering everything), senior high (refresher on junior high material, answering your own questions about sexual and gender identity and the relationships you want to have), young adult (really fun groups that can follow a tangent anywhere) and adult (they still have a thing or two to learn you know).
While I had a lot of questions growing up, the classes that I’ve taught over the years have proven that young people have access to more and more information and media now, but not really trusted, safe places to ask questions and talk about sex. The number of questions I’ve gotten based on things that 11 year olds have seen on pornotube would surprise anyone who thinks that kids/youth aren’t interested in sex from a very early age. My focus is always on making sure that we’re checking in with ourselves about how we’re feeling, that people have the best information available, and that we keep to a positive message of our own sexuality being an important part of a healthy self identity.
A few of the instructors of this OWL program have talked before about trying to find a way to offer it online for people who live in communities where open, honest and responsible information about sex is difficult to find (maybe because its taught by the gym teacher who is obviously uncomfortable or in an abstinence-only environment which ignores the reality of young peoples lives). Do you think that would be of interest to people?
I went to an English system school (not in England though). My sex education wasn’t great, but it was better than what information I got at home.
The school-wide teaching was simply how to put on condoms and a vauge mention of different types of contraception. There were a few UK-produced videos that weren’t that good, but did give a bit of basic information. There was also a very weird American video we watched which included the lines ‘give me five!’ ‘I’ve got five [condoms]’.
I had a religious studies who decided it was his job to give us proper sex education and brought in all types of contraceptives and explained the advantages and disadvantages of them all.
There was very little attention given to anything but the mechanistics of sex in my education.
That said, since I left I know there’s been a great improvement in the sex education in my former school. The most amusing one was they decided not to use fruit to illustrate how to put on a condom. Wooden penises were made instead. The headmaster tried to make condoms avaliable through the school nurse, but that didn’t go through. The school now gets a local teen support agency to come in and give comprehensive talks.(The KELY organisation http://www.kely.org/home.htm )
The gym teacher who was teaching our sex ed class was a large and greasy man with a combover who got a fifteen-year-old student pregnant the year after he taught my class.
So that was really creepy, and you’ve got to conclude that his contraception information wasn’t the best.
Coming from the South, my teachers were explicitly forbidden to raise the subject of homosexuality (though the same - married - teacher mentioned above did say multiple times that people who did it in the butt were just wrong.) That school did, however, have a Planned Parenthood in walking distance, so the nurse would write people who came to her asking for condoms a daypass to leave the grounds and go to PP. There was a really sweet guy in one of my classes who considered it his job to tell everyone exactly how to get the condoms, since the nurse couldn’t tell us she offered them.
I am a Unitarian, religion-wise, and while no condoms made an appearance in school sex-ed, church sex-ed involved condoms on cucumbers and condom water balloon fights and craft projects in which we made cut-up condoms into various farm animals. Also, we saw tasteful slides of couples of all orientations and body types getting it on. We actually had to write on a slip of paper what we learned about lesbianism, and someone wrote “apparently, they like to do it outdoors.”
Good times.
I go to a catholic school so sex ed consists of a class all juniors have to take called Women in Relationships. Most of the class is about how great it is to be filling the proper roles of wife and mother. The biggest project of the semester is planning for our first child, complete with creating scrapbooks and writing papers about what we learned about babies and why we want them. Then we had 1 day where someone came in and ran through various birth control methods. The next day, we had the whole lecture about natural family planning and were told that condoms and any sort of birth control methods were sinful. So yeah. Not so effective. But I got my sex ed outside of school, through the Gay Straight Alliance’s Safer Sex workshop. It gets taught by people from a sex toy shop and is REALLY well done.
My school does not have any sort of sex education. There is a one trimester long health class, but you do not learn anything beyond how babies are made biologically. Its really quite depressing. I recently switched schools, and my old school had a great sex ed class, now, there is none.
I’m from Texas, the abstinence capital of the world.
We were basically told that if we did anything besides kissing, we would get an STD, that it was a 3 out of 4 chance.
They never covered masturbation (in a room full of girls?! But girls don’t masturbate!) homosexuality, anal sex, one girl asked about birth control and the lady just said “if you wait until marriage, you won’t have to deal with birth control!”
When they talked about STDs they only mentioned once about anything being fatal,very nonchalantly, of course, they just kept saying “You will never be able to have children if you get certain STDs.” like never being able to procreate was a fate worse than death.
Thanks to various feminist blogs, the Midwest Teen Sex Show and Talk Sex with Sue Johansen, I’m more educated about sex than most people I know who are actually having it…
It’s sad, you know?
I remember having some generic half-day class where the boys were in one room and the girls in another room in 5th grade. This was in Milton, WI, 1986. As I recall, the information was pretty much just the anatomical components of guys and girls and the changes that our bodies would be going through during puberty. I remember them telling us that we’d need to start using deoderant which is kinda funny thinking about it now and how little it had to do with sex.
In middle school it seems like we had a similar information session that got more into STDs and protection. In 9th or 10th grade we had a health class that included some more sex ed, but it seems like it was all very generic and I don’t recall any explanation of why people want to have sex. I guess that was self explanitory for most people. For me, however, I could never understand why people couldn’t wait until marriage for sex. To me it all seemed very mechanical and was something that was done to produce a baby. I didn’t get it; people wanted to have sex because they were sexually aroused by each other. I didn’t understand why guys made such a big deal about girls, but I learned how to play along and repeat what I’d heard.
As it turned out, I am gay and since there was no explanation in school of what being gay really is, I had no idea that my admiration for certain guys was actually attraction to them. Yes, I was very naive and sheltered, I guess. Now, when I hear parents rant and rave against educating kids about the full spectrum of human sexuality, it angers me. Public schools should teach kids that some people are gay and bisexual and that’s just as normal for them as it is for most people to be straight. I hope that’s happening now in schools so kids like me can get a little help understanding why they feel or don’t feel the way they do.
the last time i was in sex ed was last year in grade 7. i don’t think we even did anything. the year before that they told us what an erection was and we had to freakin’ MEMORIZE the parts of the vagina. there was a secret question box but noone said anything about masturbating but they also told us about puberty and how it was normal and all that. i’m not sure if they’ll tell us that sex is bad they might but that’s the reason why we’re all here, isn’t it. we are also told that nothing is wrong with homosexuality and if anyone has a problem they are asked why and what good reasons do you have for not liking them. i hope they talk about the health benefits of masturbating. good thing i’m in Canada where they don’t hush it up as much so they probably will if not there’s always my power of persuasion. seriously, i’m good at that.
From 5th grade to 10th, we learned very little on the mechanics of sex and the emotional side. We learned of STDs and contraceptives. They didn’t show how to use contraceptives. It was thought by our P.E. teacher, who rushed us, or we rushed him, from an hour of lecture to 20 or 30 min so we could play in the gym the rest of the time. I think we had 6 weeks to cover that chapter in the health book. I may have been 2 weeks. They really didn’t say, or I didn’t pay attention, to when we should be sexually active. Half of us where already having it and the class did little to sway us from doing so. Only made us more interested in wanting to experiment.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I go to a Catholic private school and the only sex ed. i got was in grade 9 where we kind of learned about the different parts of both male and female organs. Not sure about public schools but I think that they too get little or no exposure to sex education where i live.
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Sad to say, but I actually received better sex education in fifth grade (and the material was later repeated in middle and high school) than I did in college, where our health class mainly consisted of giant PowerPoints featuring gross STD pictures. In my opinion, that actually did more harm than good, as the pictures were only of the most severe cases, and students wouldn’t recognize their own STDs until it was that severe as well- and too late.
Granted, one was a liberal suburb of Cleveland while the other was a conservative rural city in western Pennsylvania, but still- when an elementary school provides better education than a UNIVERSITY, you know something’s wrong.
People in (an unrelated) class at my college also talked about their own experiences with sex ed. Too many were of the “Molly Grows Up” variety (see archive.org), when the girls had to watch a film about menstruation (and ONLY menstruation, never sex, or what boys were going through) while the boys got to play dodgeball.
Sure, at my elementary school, the girls and boys giggled and went “Ewww!” at the videos, being fifth graders and all, but at least it was co-ed and we learned about EVERYTHING. Yes, it was awkward at times, but in hindsight I think it was a good thing. When the boys went with the male teachers and the girls with the women for more personal questions, it was an odd kind of bonding experience.
I’m in 10th grade and my school’s sex ed program was crappy. All it talked about was how horrible having sex is and you’ll get pregnant or get an STD and die. It didn’t really help the kids who were already having sex. I’m glad there’s the internet and websites like this one that can help kids learn things without being preached and lectured at. =]
I got the abstinence-only track back in the late 90’s, when people still were convinced it’d help. In fact, they weren’t even allowed to discuss what actually happens during sex beyond the cellular level. There were no discussions of how genitalia worked at all. Sure, there were discussions of every kind of STD imaginable, and they were all presented as totally incurable and life ruining (disregard the fact that half of ‘em can be treated with antibiotics, and a few of the viral ones are usually asymptomatic).
Of course, home wasn’t much better. My parents will claim they’ve only had sex three times: once on their wedding night, once to conceive me, and once to conceive my sister.
The only place I ever got a discussion of the mechanics or how to protect yourself from unwanted consequences was church, where the official policy was “Wait until you’re legal, but it’s best to know about these kinds of things before hand.” Of course, I actually learned about the bad effects of oil-based lubes and latex in chemistry class, but that’s another discussion.
As such, I frequently say that I learned about sex from IRC, which is where some kind older woman took me aside and explained everything to me when I admitted to being 19 and completely uninformed about sex.
I’m in grade 12 (the 12th grade is more common to say in the US isn’t it?) in Alberta, Canada. I was taught sex ed from grade 5 to 10 (in grade 11 and 12 gym and health are options). In grade 12 you also have a reproductive unit in Biology that covers the technical aspects of the genitals and pregnancy.
I am so glad that I live in Canada, because from what i can tell there are a lot of schools in the US that have “abstinence only” sex education. If I had not had been told the facts about contraceptives (including abstinence) and the emotional side of sex in school, i would have ended up getting sub-standard education from my friends. Which I’m sure is the case for many teenagers not getting the education in health class.
I have been sexually active for about a year now and I have enough information and confidence in myself to have a healthy sex life because of what i learned in school. There are many of my friends who have chosen to wait for marriage which is amazing and I applaud them. The sex education in Canada stresses that to have sex or not is your choice and that it’s important to respect everyone else’s choice as well.
The adults around us realize that not talking about sex does not mean that no kids will go out and do it. So for you all who have been deprived of sex education, I am so glad that you are on this site and taking the liberty to find out the facts for yourself.
I am a first year teacher and was shocked to learn that at this K-8 school there is no health class much less sex ed. So we currently have nasty smelly middle school students who are transferring STDs around. Well, I don’t know about the STDs part but we do have middle school students have sex without any knowledge about safe sex. How scary is this?
In Florida, in my county, there really isnt any sex ed. The best that we get is a class in 5th grade that talks about puberty, and only puberty.
In high school, things arent much better. there is a class called life studies, or health studies, or something, but it only briefly talks about sex, and its an elective, so most people dont take it.
Also, if a student goes to the clinic to try to get condoms, they are told in a cold way that this is an abstinence only-until marriage- school system.
Because of this, i have resorted to looking online for my sex education. luckily, i have the opportunity, because i have the internet and can use a search engine.
PS: thanks, MTSS for posting the links to sites like Sex Etc. I highly recommend it.
I went to a private school with opt-in “health” class in 5th and 6th grade. Everyone’s parents opted-in. It was fairly decent.
One conversation from that class will haunt me forever, though, as the worst sex-ed moment I can conceive of at such a liberal school.
Talking about tampons, one girl asked what to do if you push one in too far and the string gets “lost.” Our (lady) science teacher said, “Well, you just need to reach in there and find it, pull it out again.” All the other girls squealed with horror. Laughing, our teacher said “See, if you don’t want to even put your fingers in there, you should wait a good long while until you have a penis in there.” (Homosexuality was ignored.)
That’s good advice, actually. But she never addressed the really scary thing that had been brought up: fear and disgust at our own bodies. Shouldn’t she have said, “No, it’s not gross, it’s your body, and you should spend some time checking it out and seeing where everything is”?
By the way, 2 of the 16 girls from that class became sexually active within the next year, one of whom gave HJs to 2 boys in the back of the bus in 1 day. Neither got any sexual favors in return from the boys they got off.
I see now that I was really lucky in getting great sex ed at a public high school. It was supposedly required in both 7th and 11th grades, but you could get out of it, and I did so in 7th grade. I’m glad I didn’t waive the semester-long class in 11th grade, though. Our teacher was really passionate about her job and believed we needed all the information we could get and was both fun AND serious at the same time. We learned all about different STDs with intense pictures and how to catch them and how to treat them and how to prevent them and tons and tons of information on birth control of all kinds, with information about how effectiveness for both pregnancy and STD prevention and information on correct usage. We got a lot of information about condoms, the dos and don’ts of usage, had to put one on our fingers, were warned seriously about pre-ejaculate and the dangers it can pose if not taken seriously. We also, though, talked about relationships and pressure and knowing ourselves and making choices. We did one particular exercise where we were asked to toss out elements that we thought were crucial for a good marriage. We suggested things like compromise and communication and respect, but the teacher was still looking for something else. “I can’t believe you guys aren’t getting this!” she said. “C’mon! Great sex!” I can’t speak for anyone else in the class, but it really meant a lot to me for a teacher in a public school in the US to stand up in front of the class and say that great sex was an important part of intimate adult relationships. The understanding very much seemed to be that some kids WOULD have sex whether or not they “should,” so you might as well equip them with the best possible information to make the safest and most informed choices. The risks of sex were explored in detail, but it was also understood that we would want to have sex, and that we SHOULD want to have sex. I did not become sexually active until several years out of high school, but I felt like I had all the necessary knowledge to make good decisions about protecting myself (and partner) and also making emotionally healthy choices. I have no idea how you would come about that wealth of information on your own. Kudos to MTSS for starting the dialogue!
i live in a mormon town where the “dont have sex till your married” is basically all that is taught. I have had NO sex ed until right now when im taking health. the 6-10 grade all i learned at school was,,,, well that guys had erections and girls had somthing that you had to use a tampon in once a month,,, wait i didnt even learn that. I am really glad there is the internet as a resource, i dont know how pre internet people got by. Its funny, going into my health class, due to the fact ive learned a lot off the internet (teenwire.com mtss) and to see all the kids that still have no clue. I bet half (or more) kids in this class have never seen a condom, let alone know how to use it. the teacher also made it sound like you would probabley get pregnant using a condom and would still catch stds. Im interested to see what the teacher says for the sex ed, im assuming she will say mansturbation is from the devil, that you get stds as soon as you do anything sexual (and she already says you get stds from toilets) i hate where i live *sigh*
Im 15, turning 16 next month ;). In my school district, up in washington, the sex ed was pretty good. We had a week course on it in 8th grade. He taught us the types of STD’s, the perventiveness of various types of birth controls, and always questioned us and made us think. He even had a box we could put questions in, even though the first time people used it they were all inappropriate questions -.-
I’m in 8th grade(I’m 14) we are taught that sex is bad, it causes STDs, babies, more STDs and you should only have sex after marrage and being homosexual/bisexual should not happen
I am 16 years old and I love in northern US. Although my sex education class was somewhat informational, it came a bit late for me. I am a teen parent. In Nov. of my freshmen year I got pregnant. When I was 6 months pregnant I got the sex education corse.
It just said that if you have sex it will give you STDs and you need to wear a condumn but you will still get pregnant and die. I took an extra corse at my school that parenting kids take called Child care and development, I learned more about sex in that class than the sex ed. corse.
The sad part is I was not the only pregnant during the sex ed corsem 2 other girls in my class of 21 were also pregnant. My school has the highest pregnancy rate in the state. I am no where near alone as a teen parent in my school.
At our school the principles daughter is a teen parent. I have a friend who is getting an abortion, I have many friends who have given up thier children for adoption. I have friends who have caught STDs, not even just one, but multiple. They through out a third of the blood that our school donates because it is packed with STDs.
It is just sad. Really. It’s like they put viagra in the Milk. Dont drink the milk.
Hey! I’m a 16 year old in San Diego, California. It really dose sadden me that honestly, sex ed isn’t really taught all that well. When I was in 4th grade in an elementary school of grades 1st - 5th, A student handing out pamphlets about sex ed when the 5th graders were taking it accidentally handed me one, then took it back after noticing I was in 4th ( it was a mixed class ). That’s when I first even knew schools had sex ed. I didn’t receive a sex ed class until 8th grade. Now I’m in high school, a sophomore, and last year they had a “peer ed” class, they take you out of english and teach you *briefly* how to take a condom carefully out of the package as not to harm it ( rips, tears, etc. ) and discuss safe lubricants ( water based, not oil based ) and that’s it. My 8th grade class talked about what in general happens, about they pregnancy part, and birth control methods ( diaphragm, etc. ). I would like to see sex ed taught on different levels: pregnancy, emotionally, healthy relationship, etc. It annoys me how adults think kids shouldn’t have sex until 18+ because we are “hormonal crazies” running around “doing” anything we see. Some of us are responsible, and with sex ed available to teens like Midwestern Teen Sex Show, it’s all the better! ( Kudos! ) I think adult should step up and properly teach kids everything about sex, and not just the basic facts. Supply us with the knowledge, and we can apply the knowledge to good use!
At our school, sex ed started in 5th grade when we had a unit at the end of the year. It was mostly about the reproductive organs and puberty in general, although I did learn what a blowjob was hahaha. They also taught us about masturbation and how it was natural and healthy to explore your own body, which was definitely a good thing. In 6th and 7th grade we had a similar thing, but the unit was crammed in at the end of the year, so it was only about a week long. Then in high school we’re required to take a semester of health where we learned about birth control and STDs and pregnancy, and we got a list of different places we could go to buy condoms or help if we thought we were pregnant or had STDs. We were basically encouraged not to have sex but it was not like abstinance was the only option and they discussed it pretty thoroughly, although we did not get to learn how to put condoms on or anything.
There were only a couple of things pretty lacking in our sex ed… first of all, we didn’t get very much input on why people have sex, or the emotional side of it. Also, there was NO mention whatsoever about homosexuality, which is really annoying, although not very surprising. I found out I was gay when I fell in love with a girl, but not everyone is lucky enough for that. My parents didn’t really discussion attraction with me either so maybe that’s why I was not sure? Anyway I think that some talk about feelings for people and how that is supposed to work or the emotional side of things should be discussed in school because even straight people can be unsure about their feelings and not everyone knows to look stuff up on awesome sites like this.
In addition to what I posted earlier, I also remembered my awesome sex ed teacher talking about how girls are reaching sexual maturity earlier and earlier, so now the average age for starting menstruation is twelve, while marriage is getting later and later, the average age being twenty-seven. Your choices were very different at a time when you got your first period at fifteen and married at sixteen, versus now, when you may have fifteen years of what your body considers prime baby-having years before you enter into wedlock. She really understood that it was unfair that while changes for women in society make it possible and even probable that a woman will pursue an education and a career before turning to family, but that what is sexually acceptable remains based on the model of marrying the week after you graduate from high school. I was struck by this, and once again I would like to say that this knowledge did NOT lead to me having sex as a teen, but it was important food for thought as I did enter into more serious, intimate relationships, especially after I passed the age when my own mother got married, and saw that marriage was lively many years off still, and I had to figure out what MY morality was. It irks me that people who are so opposed to sex ed never seem to acknowledge that there is a biological component that is the driving force behind teen sex. (This is not, by the way, the first generation to have sex before marriage!) Teens don’t set out to have sex just because they are told not to, or because they see it in the media, or they think it will make them look cooler or their partner like them better (those all may be factors); they also have sex because it feels good, because you start making out, exploring your partner’s body, which turns out is totally amazing and different and his/her skin is SO SOFT, and you’re on the brink of going all the way and for a glazed half second you think, “I don’t think I’m supposed to be doing this…” but then you realize how stupid that is, because this feels so right RIGHT NOW. And behind the scenes, your little puppet-master body, who has your hormones out of control anyway, is super stoked because YOU are ovulating and your body wants SO badly to get pregnant because THAT IS WHAT YOUR BODY IS THERE TO DO, and so it isn’t all just about love and about pop culture. And it would be nice if they would acknowledge this and say yes, you are most likely going to want to at some point, and this is why, and THESE ARE THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO THAT ARE NOT SEX BUT MIGHT HELP YOU MAKE IT THROUGH THOSE TIMES WHEN YOU WANT TO HAVE IT SO BAD YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO EXPLODE. Guys tend to discover masturbation on their own, but it would be nice if someone could give girls a little more instruction. I don’t understand why masturbation is considered as heinous as unprotected premarital sex, especially since it could be a means to prevent it. We’ve got a long way to go.
There is also my mother’s version of sex ed, served up one day at the dinner table while my sister and I were teenagers, the extent of which went like this: don’t expect us to support you if you get pregnant. This wasn’t very detailed in the “how not to,” but my mother also gives money to Planned Parenthood, so she at least believes in the overall cause, if not in being the person who presents the information herself.
We at my former school had the great pleasure to have a propper teacher teaching us (repetition here). We’ve learnd (at first) about the reproductive systems of other animals (u try to spell that at the age of 14 learning a foreign language), anyway, she has then tought us about the human reproductive organs (including the processes of Sperm production and eggcell production, fertalisation and pregnacy) Even STD’d and STI’s, quite horrid that stuff.
Well at my school we had a Sex Ed camp that was optional when we where in grade 8 and being a grade 11 student i found that your just a little two immature at that age! all you hear is “condom on a banana” giggle giggle!
i find that people are just to lenient these days towards what is really out there. btw i love you guys and the stuff that you do!
Im in middle school and i think our sex ed was pretty good compared to schools in other districts. Ive talked to seniors in other schools that havent learned nearly as much from the school as we have in middle school. They end up learning it off the streets and making terrible mistakes that usually end up with a baby or an STD. One subject our school never touched on was masturbation, i guess because it was too akward to some people, but i still think it is an important subject.
At the catholic school i attended we had sex ed from grade one. IT wasnt like, sex SEX ed but we learned where babies come from (in child terms) how it grows in the womb etc. By grade 4 we had to learn all the organs and things of the reproductive system. We had to draw giant penises and vaginas and label every part and explain what it was used for. By grade 7 we had started taking the actual “sex ed” classes where we could ask questions and learn about sex, only they seperated the classes into boys and girls so i guess it wouldnt be as embaressing. They taught us about contraceptive but only vaugly.
When i got to highschool (also catholic) we heard a mix of “dont have sex! It ruins you” and “if you have sex, for Gods sake, DONT WEAR A CONDOM! Your killing UNBORN BABIES!” and “WHEN you have sex, WEAR A CONDOM! We dont need any more teenage mothers!”
Fact of the matter is though even with all that training and all those . . . options. .. our school still had the highest teen pregnancy rate in the city
In my school, they just teach us the technicalities, like this part is the… blah blah blah. They don’t let us know, is there emotional connections? They tell us the percent of effectiveness of birth control and condoms and such. But other than that, at least I know where his vans deferan is! Ha. I’m not planning on looking for that dude.
In my Health class, they taught us about condoms (though without the classic ‘banana’ demonstration people tell me so much about). It was really all theoretical, clinically done. I mean, they made sure to get rid of the stupid rumors and I’m glad I was never taught abstinence only, but they could have done more.
In a Texas public school, they had a youth pastor come in and show us pictures of private parts with STD outbreaks, and what it looks like after genital warts are burned off. They told us that contraceptives don’t work, citing the 99% effectiveness of condoms and pills as not being 100%. They also told us that waiting until marriage enhances the act of sex. Pleeeeeaase, in my opinion people should make sure they are bed-compatible BEFORE they get married.
At my suburban high school in West Michigan we were given all the names of body parts and and descriptions of STIs. We were then told that if we had sex before marriage we would get an STI, get pregnant, and die (alright - maybe it wasn’t quite like that…but close). There was no discussion of birth control or or how to make healthy choices that are right for you.
Fortunately my church had a sex ed program that was comprehensive. They even answered the question about salad tossing.
My high school health ed teacher faced a lot of opposition, she tried to teach sex education in an alternate perspective of the conservative white middle class in our small Minnesotan town, which pretty much stressed on abstinence. She was challenged by the community to remove certain parts of her curriculum such as teaching us how to properly use and store condoms. Some parents even removed their kids from sex ed and taught the course at home. However, my college orientation sex talk had been an amazing and hilarious experience. The speaker was a comedian who was open minded about sex, while being incredibly humorous at the same time. She talked about STD’s and contraception and even put a condom over the head of a volunteer from the audience and blew it up as a balloon to demonstrate how condoms aren’t too small. One of her most valuable pieces of advice was that you know when you are ready for sex when you can talk to your partner about when you want it, how you want it and where you want it into detail. She also recommended that after sex you should talk to your partner about what worked and what didn’t work,so that both can hopefully have a healthy and enjoyable sex life. All in all it was the most valuable sex education I received, and it was only a couple hours.
Sex ed in my (UK) school is pretty basic - we learn about safe sex, stds etc and generally it’s presented in an open minded manner. But they don’t talk about masturbation or anything other than male/female sex acts. It could have have been more comprehensive. I think a lot of people are still embarassed by frank discussion of these things, even at 16… even the teacher, sometimes.
When I took sex-ed, my teacher used this example; He took a york patty unwrapped, sent it around the classroom, spat on it, threw it into the trash can then picked it up and tried to put it back into the wrapper. Then told us, that we could seal up our virginty and we would be just like the patty if we had sex before marriage. Thats it, your a AIDS filled whore if you have sex before marriage. Go Georgia education!
My school actually had a decent sex program. It was a part of our required health class and lasted about a week. The only bad part was we only spent about 30 minutes talking about contraceptives. The other hour of class was about abstinence and the rest of the week consisted of videos and pictures of STD infected body parts.
I go to a Catholic School, and all we have learned is that sex before being married will make God hate you, and how bad STDs are, and if you have sex before being married you will get one. Also, the kids who got the HPV shot at my school (including me) were made fun of and told we were sluts.
The high school that i went to did but it really wasn’t sex more of a sex is bad so be abstinent. But it was a Seventh Day Adventist school so they told us that if we had sex God would hate us forever
Our school…
We have:
Abstinance only education (I know other stuff, thanks to this and a very talkative aunt) that doesn’t work.
We just got done with it in health. the problem with it was… well..
We didn’t do much. Just learned about having kids and crud. not a lot to tell us.
nothing other than being told not to have sex and what would happen if we did- told not to be around others who we like like “that” told all sorts of pointless things.
I have mixed feelings about my high school sex ed. We had two years of it, and they talked sufficently about contraceptives, diseases and the male reproductive organs. Two major downfalls in my opinion: they brought in a religious group to talk to us about abstinence(I’m in public school) and they didn’t say anything about the female organs. I didn’t know what a clitoris was until after my first time…and it was my boyfriend who told me what it is. I have learned much much more from MWTSS, thank you so much.
I graduated HS in 1989 (seems like yesterday) and I didn’t realize that sex ed is as bad today as the above posts indicate. We were taught sex ed in increasing deatil in 5th, 7th, and 11th grades - and it was biologically complete, covered emotional relationships and all known STDs at the time. Sound like *I* had better sex ed 20 years ago then kids are getting now. How stupid is that? I sometimes wonder if religion is actually good for ANYTHING at all besides spreading ignorance.
Well I was excempted from sex ed (in middle school) because of some programs but I was taking to friends about the class since I was curious and it was basically just a biology class about parts and their functions and why we shouldn’t have sex. We couldnt learn about birth control snce it is against school rules to have any on school property. I decided just to get out and learn from books and the internet.
I went to a public school in a small town in Oklahoma. We had one year of Sex Ed in sixth grade, and they didn’t actually teach us anything. Well, it wasn’t even a full year. A lady came to talk to us once. We were left with more questions than we started with. There were no more Sex Ed classes in Junior High or High School. When I graduated, 98% of the females in my grade had already had a baby, or were pregnant then. I’m in no way kidding, either. It’s sad to realize just how little kids really know about sex and protecting themselves.
personally i’ve had sex ed. from 4-9th grade. in my freshman year of high school, my school district required students to take a one trimester long health class that covered fitness to sex to drugs and alcohol. we learned about contraception and the consequences of sex and although the abstenance is the only sure way not to get pregnant or get an STD philosphy was repeated quite a few times, the education about STD’s and contraception was pretty good. the health department even came in with an infamous slide show of different cases of STD’s that they had documented…kinda gross but disturbing enough to make you think about consequences and such…i wish the sex ed had continued to remind students because i feel that most were not having sex in ninth grade and that the one or two day refresher courses given by plan parenthood’s teen council were not enough (although they did help). its clear that more sexual education is needed to protect the uneducated
I am an adult and have been an adult for a very long time. I think I know why you have so much trouble getting information. Information is handed out by, and in the control of, adults. Adults have had enough time to literally blow their lives to smithereens with bad choices or at least to understand the possibilities. It is our job to protect you. Even from yourselves if that’s what it takes. However, we wouldn’t listen either. Now, many of us wish we had. Can you appreciate the dilemma? If we had it to do over, we’d do things differently. That isn’t going to happen so we would like you to benefit from our mistakes and SLOW DOWN!!!!
That’s kinda a tough one. I was homeschooled. And my family is very religious. Not that that was a bad thing… It’s just that I had to learn on my own. My parents never even said “Use a condom!”.
But then, one very awkward day, I caught my dad printing porn. Thus led to my hidiously unnatural addiction to it. I’ve since learned that, of course, porn is amazingly unrealistic crap that nerds watch, but I’ve still yet to actually find the right girl and do it. But that’s also probably because I was homeschooled. No effing social skills.
Hahah. Oh well. I’m fifteen and still haven’t had a girlfriend. While that may not be a bad thing, please wish me luck, as I have found one awesomeful girl that I’d do anything for, and I’m thinking of asking her out.
~~~Peace, Love, and Condoms~~~
Not really i guess. I mean, technically, we have something called Sex Ed., but we don’t actually learn anything except for Abstinence! and about STD’s. In middle school it was a similar deal, except we watched movies and stuff about it, and they made us trace pictures of sex organs out of a text book (how that helps anything, i really DON’T understand at ALL). But yeah, that’s how it works here.
I really wish my school would have some sort of sexual education. That’s why I applaud the Midwest Teen Sex Show and other teen-oriented sex-ed sites and programs. Without those, we’d be on our own about this stuff, and we all know that a typical teen’s vision of right and wrong can be fuzzy.
http://www.greattowait.com/index.html
this is the website that the state of florida is publicizing on the radio and tv.
so i went and checked it out. I was appalled.
in their section on birth control, the only thing that they say is abstinence is 100 % effective, condoms /oral contraceptives are not.
which, while technically true, really bashes the fact that condoms and other contraceptives do have a high effectiveness rate.
Also, i love how their statistics in their about us section mean nothing. GAH!!!
this kind of thing just really gets me riled up.
I hate florida’s education.
but, if anyone else wants to get riled up, or at least laugh a bit, check out that website above.
My first “sex education” class was in 5th grade, and I believe they gave it the name “Family Life” or something to that extent. We learned about the basic stuff—menstruation, differences between a man and a woman, stages of pregnancy, tampons, etc. They separated the girls from the boys. We were told if anyone younger asked about this, to lie to them.
They weren’t allowed to tell us about the act itself.
Of course, my mother gave me the sex talk before. By then, I already knew what sex was, and how pregnancy worked. I picked things up, or I was a perverted little kid who have access to the internet.
Sixth and seventh grade they drilled in the abstinence method—have sex, you’ll get pregnant, and die! We were shown pictures of STDs and child birth, mainly to scare us away from the act. I guess they thought if they showed it, people would be afraid of having colorful warts on their penis and having babies flying out of their vagina.
I was the kid in middle school who asked, “Are we going to learn about condoms?”
And we did—we learned about condoms, birth control, and the pull-out method. The teacher preached about masturbation, and that the clitoris was a beautiful thing.
Ninth grade—nothing special. Diagrams, book work, and boring videos. “DON’T HAVE SEX…DEAAAAAAATH.” Right.
And..that was the end of my sex education.
My sex ed (in Germany) covered pretty much, compared to what i read here:
Starting in the 4th grade, i had some sex ed in diverse classes. There was no “sex education” class or something like that - sex ed was part of the curriculum of some classes. I don’t know, if any of my teachers was specially trained, but overall, they took their job seriously.
Starting with an overview about puberty, growing up, anatomy and sex in 4th grade (not in detail, as an cartoon), sex ed was continued a few years later (i don’t remember exactly) in biology - but the teacher left room for questions of all sorts (one was: can one get pregnant from oral sex).
Later (i was 15 or 16 at the time) the subject was part of my ethics class (a substitute for religion, if you want any religious dogma left outside), and this teacher covered mainly the emotional side of relationships, sex, pregnancy, abortion and so forth.
There was no one saying that wo shouldn’t have sex (but always with protection) - and while there were no condoms shown, or we got to try them on food or fingers, we were told to practice using them before having sex.
Which wasn’t covered that well was homosexuality (other than: It’s absolutely normal, don’t be worried) and STD’s (no slideshows with pictures or something) - but the important parts were covered, and we were told where to get further information if needed.
After my 10th grade, there was no further sex ed (for another 3 years), but at least for me most questions were answered or i knew, who i could ask.
On the other hand i remember a reporti in the media of a catholic school, where the teachers ripped the sex ed pages out of the biology books before handing them to their students…
Went to a co-ed Catholic grade school and an all girls Catholic high-school.
In grade school we learned abstinence only. There was a brief paragraph in the male “Family Life” book that said masturbation was a mortal sin. I was sort of freaked out, but convinced myself that it must only be bad if you’re a guy (I’ve masturbated since I was about three).
In high school my teachers were much more liberal. They said sex might be more meaningful in marriage, but there was nothing wrong with being gay, masturbation, oral sex, or anal sex in an of themselves. Sex could still be okay between two committed adults.
When I was in School the first time they told us about Sex was in 4th grade then again in 6th grade and in 9th grade again. And they only told us about Birth Control in 9th grade and that was only about five minutes. But everything else what they told us was very detailed and good. I’m from Germany by the way.
well they coverd all the stds and gross pics and that rlly gross vif of some woman givin birth and we had 2 learn like all the parts of evrythin down there -P but nothin about homosexuality and this was only like 3 or 4 yrs ago.
oh! and freshman yr (about 2 start jr yr =))they kinda coverd it but stil nothin about homosexuality
It’s been a while since I was in school, but I remember enough about sex education to comment.
In grade school, it came down to that it won’t be talked about. Nice information there… In High School, there was some basic coverage in Health class, but it was all from a text book, simply stating the mechanics. Teachers said no questions were to be asked because she didn’t like the subject. I asked her after class one day why she teaches this if she doesn’t want to, appreciably she was the only person that would teach it. I get put into a private school soon after, but I heard that they had a nice little assembly basically saying Abstinence is the best and only thing you need to know about sex. In my private school, there was no discussion unless asked. If it was asked, and time was available, they would inform you as best they could. If you wanted more info then the teacher would give, or there was not enough time, they informed the parent/parents that it was time for the talk.
I had the talk when I was in 8th grade from my mom. She was honest, but kept things fairly clean. From the private school I was in, I got more info from my mom that was more detailed and specific.
The reason for this info is because of a concern I have. The concern that sex ed is not that anymore, just simply a lecture on not doing anything at all until you are married. I can see how that would work in another world, but not now. To me, the best option to to point out all the dangers of sex, explain to the child/person that they should don’t do it when THEY are ready and want to, and to use protection. There is a lot more to go into obviously, but that’s the basics. Should I have kids, I won’t deprive them of proper knowledge. I know it will be weird, and difficult, but it will be needed.
Basicly at our school they preached that absitenance is the best and only solution to sex and don’t have sex or you’ll get a STD and die, complete with horribly horible photos of infected people even though the majority of infected people don’t show any signs and there are still girls getting pregnant. I seriously think they need to pass out condoms and teach them how to put them on correctly instead cause it’s not working.
And I learned about sex from a cartoon video rented from the library when I was about 9 or 10 and it was never spoken of again until I was in 5th grade and all that was “YOUR GONNA BLEEED, The Period” And I still never really learned any thing until about 8th grade when our science teacher did sex ed again and actually encouraged us to talk about sex, then I went off to high school, got perveted friends though none had sex and was introduced to porn, Thanks Masturbation.
I never even had a sex talk with my parents either though. . .and in my parents eyes, porn is bad and any time they even think there’s porn or sex on my mind I’m yelled at even if there’s no evidence when they should really be grateful because I’m still a virgin and don’t plan on having sex anytime soon.
So. . .I’m basicly guessing that I actually learned what sex was from porn and friends since all I remember from that video was a cartoon guy on top of a bed and a voice tryign to explain that’s how babies were made. . .That seems really really sad. And the 5th grade “your Changing, Period video”
I am 14 years old. In my school there is not much sex education. I would like more of education on that field. The teachers have also admitted that there is not enough sex education.
I have a bit of a complicated relationship with sex-ed. I’ve never really gotten any sex-ed from my parents, so my first source was fifth grade puberty class. We watched a movie that was, somewhat disturbingly, made by Disney about how anatomy and functions change. Nothing about sex, just puberty.
Freshman year of high school, we began our abstinence until marriage unit of health class (North Carolina). We were told nothing about birth control. Not even mentioned. We were told that only 15-20% of high schoolers have had sex, which I know is complete bullshit. It was implied that everyone who is sexually active has an STD of some type or another; if they didn’t have an STD, then they were pregnant. We were told that sex only happens when one horny teenager bullies their submissive partner into it, and always causes their relationship to collapse.
I only got a real sex education when I took an anatomy/physiology class in my junior year of high school. In our unit on the reproductive system, my teacher was fantastic. She talked about functions, birth control, and told honest and funny stories without being creepy. That being said, I had already known most of what she said through the internet anyway. Still, I appreciate that and she is one of my favorite teachers.