MTSS 20: The Green Tongue of HPV

Our Halloween Special. Welcome to the Abstinence Academy for slutty girls!



Special thanks to Radar Dog Productions for lengthy discussions of all things witches.

32 Responses to “MTSS 20: The Green Tongue of HPV”


  1. 1 Chris

    I was eating cornflakes when she was struggling in the pool .. waahh that was disgusting … couldnt eat my cornflakes anymore because the dish reminded me of that pool, haha.

  2. 2 funnyguy

    I’m slightly aroused, but put off due to HPV. i guess things that look good are wrong, and full of HPV.

    Great show guys! Though it takes forever for a new episode!

  3. 3 tornadogrrrl

    Great Halloween special.
    One important point you missed though. The HPV vaccine only protects against 4 strains of HPV, and there are dozens that infect humans. The vaccine protects against the 2 most common strains that cause genital warts and the 2 most common strains that cause cervical cancer, which is great. But you can still catch any of the other strains out there and end up with warts or cancer or both.
    The vaccine is a great idea and everyone should get it as it does reduce the risk of developing an HPV infection. Just remember that there still is some risk and behave accordingly.
    Keep up the good work!

  4. 4 Ian

    Have to admit it was certainly the most educational episode I have seen, given that HPV is something that I had never heard of before.
    Also the most creey and horrific episode I have seen too, especially the Evil Dead homage . . . . *shudders*

  5. 5 austin

    perhaps the best yet! happy halloween!

  6. 6 Eric

    Well, I’m not sure what to think, first off, I’m quite positive I’ve never seen anything that I would classify as both “horrifying” and “sexually educational”, and bravo, it was great. But staying on topic, what is a gay boy to do? Me and any partner I might have (certainly not any girls) can’t be effectively prevented, treated, or even tested… I’m at a loss, so, I’m going to check out the site you listed, but any further information would be helpful.

  7. 7 Anis

    “(…) anal cancer.
    And cancer is not fun.
    Unless it’s anal cancer.”
    Great reference to the genital farm accident thing from that previous episode, too.
    This is by far the best episode ever.
    I love you guys!

    This wasn’t scary, though. But I’m Algerian, today is what we call Revolution Day, we ain’t got no Hallo Wieners :p

  8. 8 Jonathan

    The test and vaccine theoretically work on guys, but it’s actually illegal (or impossible) to get either administered to a guy. They think only gay guys can get it, y’see.

  9. 9 Nikol

    TG makes an excellent point about the vaccination. Protected sex is the best sex to have, but HPV can even be transmitted by skin to skin contact, so condoms and dental dams reduce the risk, but aren’t 100%.

    Jonathan, I don’t really agree with what you are saying. It’s pretty well known that straight boys are transmitting HPV to straight girls like crazy. Boys can have a really basic skin swab done, but it often turns up false results on both ends. As far as the immunization being effective for boys, I have to look into that more. I don’t see why it would only be effective for girls, now that you mention it.

    Some problems exist with the immunization’s distribution that should be noted. One is the media sensationalism that has made it seem as though girls who get this immunization at a young age will see it as a thumbs up for early sexual activity. The other is that it is not yet widely distributed or talked about in family doctors’ offices.

    This is an aside: There were some issues pointed out to me by sex workers regarding the vaccination. These women were unable to have access to the vaccinations because it was assumed that they were already infected. What do you guys think of that?

  10. 10 Bequi

    I was in trial for the herpes vaccine at a clinic that also HPV vaccine trials. The herpes vaccine also works only on women. They said it was because the vaccine is carried in the vaginal juices. Since guys don’t have as much juice coating their junk, the vaccine wouldn’t work. Plus, they only did trials on female bodied people ages 18-26, so those are the folks who can get it. I don’t know for sure that the same is true for the HPV vaccine, but it would make sense if it were.

    Now, it seems possible to me that by this logic the vaccine could help prevent anal HPV. I doubt they’ve tested it, though. The trials I was in didn’t take into account not het sex or even sex beyond penis in vagina intercourse. It’s too bad. They won’t get very accurate information about the effectiveness of the vaccine if they aren’t taking into account oral sex. Poo on narrow minded doctors.

    Thanks for a fun show!

  11. 11 Bequi

    um… by \”get it\” in the first paragraph I meant get the vaccine. (anyone can get HPV or herpes)

  12. 12 Synthetic Phylum

    Well, I think that denying the vaccine to sex workers based on the blanket assumption that they were already infected, simply because of their chosen form of employment is just crap. Not in the sense that what you’re saying is in any way inaccurate, but in the sense that being denied based on an assumption like that is extremely lame! I’m sorry, but just because one is a sex worker is no reason to assume that one is infected with anything, much less HPV. Sex workers have gotten a LOT more careful in recent years, after all!

    And I have to admit, seeing Nikol tied up while wearing a schoolgirl outfit was pretty hot! I should probably be ashamed of myself now!

  13. 13 Logan S

    Man it sucks that I could have HPV because my partner didn’t know she had it. I also heard there are benign forms of the virus. Like there are 20 strains but only a couple actually cause genital warts and cancer. I’m not sure where i heard that but I’m now afraid of women so thanks for that

  14. 14 juls

    i love all these episodes, and this one was scary, i don’t really get it too much though. How do you test for HPV and how common is it? should every woman get the shot?

  15. 15 Chris

    best show so far. Loved the Halloween touch. Keep up the great work.

  16. 16 RyeDoll

    EVERY GIRL SHOULD BE TESTED AFTER BECOMING SEXUALLY ACTIVE. PERIOD. After being sexually active for 10 years, and being tested at LEAST once a year every year, I learned that I had the HPV strain that causes cervical cancer, and indeed I had precancerous cells that I had to be removed. I now have to be tested for cancer once a year and closely monitored. I can still get the vaccine and it MAY (or may not) prevent the development of cancer, and I am currently in discussions with my doctor and weighing options. Had this vaccine been available to me before I was sexually active, I would have definitely taken it. And indeed plan on having both my daughters vaccinated when they are age appropriate, about age 9.

    But boys, you shouldn’t be afraid of girls. Careful, yes but not scared. I met my husband immediately following my diagnosis. I was completely open and honest with him, and he didn’t even hesitate. Definitely talk about it. Don’t be afraid to ask a new partner, or even ask them to be tested.

    Just my two cents…

    Oh yeah, btw, awesome episode. Glad somebody addressed it.

  17. 17 couchpixie

    This is a test post! I have been denied for so long…

  18. 18 Phoebe

    Funny. I actually have HPV and I had no idea how you actually got it until I did get it! I thought it was something that could “heppen” to any girl. I have only been with two people in my life yet I still managed to get HPV which in turn gave me severe displaysia (where all of my cells in my cervix were abnormal pre-cancer cells). Scary. I wish I had had this info when I was a teen. Could have saved me a lot of stress and money! Good job getting the word out there

  19. 19 obwaizy

    Has anyone who’s commented actually gotten the vaccine?

    Because I have, and we seem to be forgetting that 1) it is absurdly expensive 2) because it is so new it has not been extensively tested and does not vaccinate you for life, so you will have to be vaccinated again, 4) regular PAP smears are still the best and cheapest way to protect against cervical cancer (which actually affects far fewer women in developed countries than Gardasil would like you to believe )and finally 5) the HPV vaccine can make you feel really, really shitty. I would feel like I had the flu for two weeks after each shot and I got a migraine with every dose. Before that, I hadn’t had a migraine since the 5th grade.

    I’m not saying don’t get vaccinated, I am saying that it is not a wonderdrug cure-all and not everything is going to be puppies and rainbows once you get this.

  20. 20 RC Collins

    I never thought the HPV scare train would pull into MTSS Station.

    HPV is in no way a death/wart sentence!

    While HPV is the cause for nearly all Gental Warts/Cervical Cancer, only 1-2% of people with HPV get Gental Warts/Cervical Cancer. Read that again, While HPV causes is the major cause of Gental Warts/Cervical Cancer, only 1-2% of people with HPV suffer any effects from it.

    My wife and I are swingers, we have an open relationship and use protection with other partners. We contracted HPV a couple years ago.

    Here is how it played out.

    Doc: “You have HPV, your rates of Cancer, Warts, etc etc just increased 1-2%. We will want to keep a close eye on your cervix. Tell your husband to keep an eye on his package.”

    Wife: “OK, will do.”

    …1 year goes bye…

    Doc: “Nice cervix. BTW, like most people your body’s own immune system has taken care of your HPV. Come back next year. Keep using protection, tell your husband to keep an eye on his junk.”

    Wife: “OK, will do.”

    People, practice safe sex, see your doctor once a year, and keep an eye on your junk.

    –RC

  21. 21 scarshapedstar

    RC, I’m very glad you’re not an epidemiologist.

  22. 22 chachaslide

    In response to obwaizy - I got the HPV vaccine too, but the cost was mostly covered by my insurance, and I didn’t have any migraines or flu-like symptoms afterward…my arm hurt for a couple of days, but that was all. It sounds like you just had a really bad reaction.

  23. 23 dan

    The HPV vaccine can also be used on men, however as its efficacy has yet to be officially demonstrated in men. Health insurance companies will not pay for it. But men can pay for it out of pocket… Fellas call your insurance companies and demand that they pay for the vaccine; we deserve to be safe too!!!!!

  24. 24 Andrenne

    I didn’t like that one as much. The green tongue struck me as rape imagery, and the bugs and body parts seemed to reinforce the notion that sex is dirty. Usually I think everything you guys do is quite hilarious, but this time I found it more disturbing.

  25. 25 Olivia

    While HPV is serious, it’s actually highly unlikely that it will cause any problems. Over 50% of people who are currently sexually active have it and most don’t even know it . Even if you do contract it, most of the time, if you have an otherwise healthy immune system, your body will fight off the infection anywhere between 8 months and 2 years after the the initial infection. And, worst case scenario, cervical cancer has an INCREDIBLY high survival rate, mostly due to regular pelvic screening catching it early, as it’s a slow growing cancer, and often times all the cancerous cells can be removed in a simple (yet really really REALLY uncomfortable) out-patient procedure.

  26. 26 Larissa

    Hey Olivia,

    Thanks for watching the show and taking the time to leave your comment but dude- are you pro-HPV? HPV is something NO ONE wants and shouldn’t be treated lightly. However, you shouldn’t be stigmatized if you do have it. HPV is bad news, leads to bad news, but is preventable AND treatable. I don’t understand the point ot argument you are making. Sounds a lot like the whole “but you probably won’t get my STF” or “but we probably won’t get pregnant” line. I probably won’t win an Oscar but I’ve got my speech ready anyway. I probably won’t get sick this year but I have health insurance anyway. I probably won’t ride a unicorn into battle with dragons but I’m ready for it, you know? Be safe for pete’s sake.

  27. 27 Olivia

    I’m hardly pro-HPV as you say. My point was that contraction of HPV does not necessarily lead to cancer or warts, and implying that it does is overly alarmist. Yes, it’s serious, yes people should get the vaccination and use condoms every time they have intercourse, however even with those precautions it’s possible to contract HPV. I’m just saying, it’s not the end of the world if you do. From the Center of Disease Control: “HPV usually goes away on its own, without causing health problems. So an HPV infection that is found today will most likely not be there a year or two from now.” http://www.cdc.gov/STD/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm#common

  28. 28 LWR

    I agree with Adrenne. I didn’t like this one and I thought the green tongue seemed like a rape — especially since the 1st girl was tied down (??)

    I also didn’t really like how there was a pairing between “slutty” (an already charged word) and diseased. It feels too much like the judgmental views of our uptight culture.

    And like others have pointed out, it’s important that people know that vaccinations do not protect from MOST strains.

  29. 29 | body detox

    everyone should get an HPV Vaccine and always practice safe sex to avoid genital warts.

  30. 30 ~ Melatonin Sleep Aid

    as always, safe sex and HPV Vaccine should work in reducing infections. the symptoms of HPV is kind of nasty.

  1. 1 Lola Big Tits
  2. 2 Sex ed on Comedy Central

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